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Yes, the battle with yourself is the most difficult battle

Messages in topic: 12

Abstinent

A psychologist I know, a man over 50, once told me: “this instinct originated in a person even before he gained consciousness, so it is almost impossible to get rid of its influence

This is some kind of nonsense. If you don’t want to, then, of course, you can’t get rid of it.

It is much easier to say that it is impossible to get rid of his influence and come to terms with the fact that you are developing problems in many areas of your life.

You never know what someone says. They say that chickens are milked.

NoFapFap

Maximum period without masturbation: 1.5 years

1. Cleanliness marathons

2. Leisure time

3. Thought control

Regarding the first point, I found information based on ancient scriptures, according to which you should not make permanent vows to yourself. It’s like swearing eternal love to your lover and breaking up because of everyday life a few years later) An indefinite vow only contributes to an increase in tension. I associate this with a life sentence, in which you either constantly suffer from the awareness of eternal imprisonment, or you simply broke down and resigned yourself to your deprivation. In a limited time frame, these are constant, periodic victories over yourself, which only make you stronger and help you set more serious vows and goals in other areas of life.

Regarding the second point - being constantly busy is certainly a good distraction, but in reality it’s just running away from yourself (running away to sleep, more on that later). There will come a moment of doing nothing and thoughts of vice will return again. You need to learn to live without these thoughts even when you have nothing to occupy yourself, when you are alone, when you can afford anything, then you can confidently say that you have defeated vice. And this is achieved by developing awareness. In a dream, the mind is asleep, only the brain works, there is no awareness, and many people have breakdowns in their sleep. A breakdown in reality is also a state of sleep when you lose consciousness. You need to learn to constantly be awake and aware, then you will be able to control yourself no matter what situation you find yourself in. The same applies to the third point.

Dr.Shrink and Froggit like this

Small man

A few basic things that I came to through my own experience (all points are my subjective point of view):

1. Cleanliness marathons

Any phases of abstinence with a fixed time (a month of cleanliness, three months of cleanliness and beyond) implant an incorrect attitude in the subconscious. It seems like time is passing, the will is clenched into a fist, and somewhere in the depths of the brain there is a malicious countdown. When the first month passes successfully, faith in one’s own power appears and... the desire to reward oneself for the long wait. Now I’ll reward you, and then I’ll go for three months. I observe something similar among smokers who “don’t smoke, but only indulge.” They say, if necessary, I will clench my will into a fist and for at least half a century I will not even admit a single thought. In general, I came to the conclusion that one must refuse in the same way as stepping into an abyss: refuse with the thought that this is forever, that there will be no return in principle. This mental attitude is very important to avoid pitfalls in the subconscious.

2. Leisure time

Periods of doing nothing create an extremely unfavorable environment for the emergence of wrong thoughts. When your life schedule is busy, it is more difficult for your brain to fall into a state of aimless wandering in search of some interesting activity. Work, hobbies, completing life tasks, just meeting with friends occupy the brain - and this is an important component (especially for beginners). When it happened that I had several hours of leisure time, I created artificial tasks for myself: general cleaning of the apartment, a speed walk for a while. In general, a daily routine is an excellent assistant in the fight against a known illness, and in general a good thing in many aspects.

3. Thought control

In the initial stages of abstinence, a false sense of success may be formed. If I stopped looking for “wrong” pictures or videos on the Internet, stopped looking “wrongly” at the fairer sex, then this is definitely a success. But it is necessary to nip the enemy in the bud, at the level of thoughts. Drive them away from yourself with a filthy broom, so that there are no leaks into the subconscious. Fish rots from the head, but abstinence from the thoughts.

Dr.Shrink, Froggit and lux in tenebris like this

Froggit

Maximum period without masturbation: 1.5 years

A few basic things that I came to through my own experience (all points are my subjective point of view):

1. Cleanliness marathons

Any phases of abstinence with a fixed time (a month of cleanliness, three months of cleanliness and beyond) implant an incorrect attitude in the subconscious. It seems like time is passing, the will is clenched into a fist, and somewhere in the depths of the brain there is a malicious countdown. When the first month passes successfully, faith in one’s own power appears and... the desire to reward oneself for the long wait. Now I’ll reward you, and then I’ll go for three months. I observe something similar among smokers who “don’t smoke, but only indulge.” They say, if necessary, I will clench my will into a fist and for at least half a century I will not even admit a single thought. In general, I came to the conclusion that one must refuse in the same way as stepping into an abyss: refuse with the thought that this is forever, that there will be no return in principle. This mental attitude is very important to avoid pitfalls in the subconscious.

2. Leisure time

Periods of doing nothing create an extremely unfavorable environment for the emergence of wrong thoughts. When your life schedule is busy, it is more difficult for your brain to fall into a state of aimless wandering in search of some interesting activity. Work, hobbies, completing life tasks, just meeting with friends occupy the brain - and this is an important component (especially for beginners). When it happened that I had several hours of leisure time, I created artificial tasks for myself: general cleaning of the apartment, a speed walk for a while. In general, a daily routine is an excellent assistant in the fight against a known illness, and in general a good thing in many aspects.

3. Thought control

In the initial stages of abstinence, a false sense of success may be formed. If I stopped looking for “wrong” pictures or videos on the Internet, stopped looking “wrongly” at the fairer sex, then this is definitely a success. But it is necessary to nip the enemy in the bud, at the level of thoughts. Drive them away from yourself with a filthy broom, so that there are no leaks into the subconscious. Fish rots from the head, but abstinence from the thoughts.

You say the truth, it’s strange how, despite all this, you are still not free, you don’t believe in yourself?)

Or maybe you exaggerated the problem, although I don’t like to consider anyone the winner of this vice, well, who knows what you can get into tomorrow, you can’t consider yourself to have conquered fornication, or any other sin, it’s simply impossible, because it’s inherent in us The fight against sins is what our life consists of.

The more we improve ourselves, the further we are from perfection, perfection is unattainable, it is God) But this does not mean that improving yourself is difficult, on the contrary, it is joyful and easy, and what you consider yourself impossible to free yourself from will seem impossible to you in the future. how could you do this.

The more we improve our soul, the happier we become, the closer we become to God.

I am not free because I have learned to succeed at the initial level of abstinence, when the principle of avoiding any triggers becomes the basis. I know how to walk down the street in the summer with my eyes unfocused and know when to just abruptly unplug the computer and go do push-ups. Unfortunately, this won't get you very far. In my understanding, the level of liberation is when a very beautiful naked girl touches you with unambiguous hints, and your pulse does not rise a single beat, and your brain continues to remain in a state of all-encompassing cosmic purity. And the point is not to learn to hit yourself in the brain with a ruler and constantly be in a fighting stance of control, but to make this state of purity the only possible, natural one for yourself. And this requires work, versatile and constant. I'm still very far from the goal, unfortunately.

Small man

Maximum period without masturbation: About a year

Perhaps I’ll write about my main breakdown. It so happened that the beginning of abstinence coincided with taking a certain type of medication that reduces libido. A month or two after the start of treatment, signs of obvious apathy towards the opposite sex appeared. For all its artificiality, it was a pleasant sensation, a kind of tired bulletproofness. After another month, the course stopped, but due to inertia, this condition persisted for another two or three weeks. Then I decided that this was a great chance that should not be missed. I mentally told myself that I had stepped out of the depravity of the past and had matured personally (looking ahead, I will say that this was an unsubstantiated statement that did not stand the test of time).

Then I invented three samurai for myself, who allegedly kept watch in my head and, if anything happened, dashingly cut into pieces the terrible monsters that were flashing vicious thoughts and images. It seems kind of stupid, but I must admit that it worked well. Any chance glance or unclean thought that glanced at a short skirt before going to bed was cut off by the samurai just like that. Sometimes I even strained my nodules, imagining the full power of their blows. About six months passed, success was consolidated. I developed excellent ignoring and avoidance skills that allowed me to maintain equanimity even in parks filled with young ladies in the summer. In short, I maintained a good baseline level of avoidance.

More than a year had passed when I suddenly decided to go to the gym. I had never gone before, but then I decided that it was time to take charge of myself (I’ve matured personally!). And this was the beginning of the collapse. Strength training, if anyone doesn’t know, increases the level of testosterone in the body, and it, in turn, fuels libido... And it probably would have been all right if I went to the gym alone, but there were plenty of slender, beautiful girls there. I even adjusted my schedule a couple of times so as not to meet particularly spectacular specimens, but I still couldn’t isolate myself from them. I even thought about quitting the gym and working out at home, but I had a smart trainer, and I saw good progress in terms of weight for my physique. The stupid testosterone began to act on the brain, creating the image of a “strong male”. Well, then day X came. There was an evening training session, and somehow it turned out that there were only two people left in the gym: me and some beauty. At the same time, we were practicing in approximately the same area of the hall, and for some reason it began to seem to me as if she was sending me some kind of signals. Either he would hold his gaze for a few seconds, or he would pass too close, although the arrangement of the simulators did not require this. Excitement began to build. She left the hall earlier, and I sighed with relief. I finished the split, left the hall and heard the sound of water... It was a shower in the women's locker room, and I heard it so clearly because the door to it was half open. And then the coordination in my brain was disrupted by the flood of thoughts. I quickly changed my clothes and rushed home like a bullet. It was very scary because I felt like I was about to lose control and go to the women's locker room. When I found myself at home, the blood was pulsating in my temples, and there was visible trembling in my arms and legs. I went to the shower and... lost it. How I hated myself then. He called himself all sorts of things: a weakling, a sinner, a subhuman. The next morning I realized that I had a cold (besides, I ran two kilometers on a cold evening, covered in sweat after the gym).

I never went to the gym again. My self-esteem fell through the roof. But the worst thing is that I almost lost faith that I could not break down in such situations. I still feel sorry for the samurai - they gave their lives for the better me...

This is in vain, you should never lose heart, well, yes, you fell, but life did not end there. Your fall only makes you stronger, believe me, in no way weaker. Of course, if you repented, then you suffered, and if you suffered, then you undoubtedly became stronger, admit it. Our suffering, no matter what, always makes us stronger.

You can’t be afraid of the world, you see, if you set out to keep yourself clean, you must strive for this, and on this path there are naturally many temptations, especially in our time, if you do not succumb to temptations, you will become stronger. Without struggle, you will never be able to achieve your goal, because temptations are everywhere, even if you go into the desert, become a hermit and there are temptations there, because the saints have said a lot about this.

Well, as for testosterone and other things, it seems to me that you shouldn’t think about it too much; it’s better to look for the reason for your downfalls in your soul, and not in your body.

Power

You could rule any province
Whenever you could control yourself.
Friedrich von Logau

Money

The flesh and spirit of people in our age have become money,
The one whose purse is empty is a dead man, not a man!
Friedrich von Logau

Life

Life is like the ocean, and we are all just fishermen:
We dream of catching a whale, but we get the tail of a cod.
Friedrich von Logau

Who can let the truth be heard at court?
This one could, but he is silent; he wants to, but he doesn’t dare.
Friedrich von Logau

The best medicine

Be calm, joyful, curb your appetite -
And you will turn any doctor out the door.
Friedrich von Logau

Violent power

He who has won power with the sword, let him hold on to the sword more tightly:
The crown - along with the head - sometimes easily flies off the shoulders!
Friedrich von Logau

About death

Death is not so scary to me because my turn will come, -
But death is so terrible for me because it will take away my loved ones!
Friedrich von Logau

Brave Honesty

What does it mean to be incredibly brave these days?
Call black black, and call white white,
Do not use excessively loud words for murder,
Lie only when necessary, and do not lie unless necessary.
Friedrich von Logau

Letters

You greet me in a letter;
I welcome you to the answer;
that's how we both know
that we are still in this world.
Friedrich von Logau

Victory over yourself

Yes, the battle with yourself is the most difficult battle.
Victory of victories is victory over oneself.
Friedrich von Logau

Poetry and painting

They won’t buy an ode or a sonnet,
they are more willing to pay for a portrait.
But the colors will fade, believe me,
and rhymes are not afraid of death.
Friedrich von Logau

Law and lawlessness

The servant of law is right when he fears law,
And then justice will be found for him:
He would have died long ago without a salary,
If only everyone would respect order and law!
Friedrich von Logau

Drunkards

Who swims in wine, seeking consolation in it,
He cannot avoid a shipwreck.
Friedrich von Logau

Shy century

Our glorious century is the crown of times -
He is strong in his shyness:
He runs away like from a leper,
From the truth, too naked.
Friedrich von Logau

Those who languish in chains are often lesser villains,
Than those sitting on chairs with a golden chain around their necks.
Friedrich von Logau

Titles

Let's smoke a pipe or give a title,
Both are nothing more than smoke!
Friedrich von Logau

Epitaph for a Miser

There is a miser in the land, but don’t believe it,
that he has found peace now:
he mourns for specie
in this world as well as in this world.
Friedrich von Logau

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Wandering in search of new material, fresh and interesting for its content, depth of thought, soul penetration, I discovered rare poems quite by accident. I love poetry, I love Tsvetaeva, Akhmatova, Pushkin, and most of the Russian classics. I love it for its spirituality first of all. I love poetry, and I read them slowly and soulfully - in the “voice” of V. Gaft.

But the author of these poems pleasantly surprised me; first of all, this is my first time reading the poetry of a priest. I was completely and completely imbued with it. They have some kind of wisdom of their own, vital and genuine, prayed for and immaculate... And then I thought: “How does prayer in front of an icon in a church differ from prayer in front of an ordinary icon bought in an ordinary church shop?” - right, nothing... I think there is no point in continuing the idea, just read these short poems...

The hardest thing is to overcome
Internal waves and pitfalls,
To rule first over laziness,
Well, then over the flurry of passions.

Internal waves are a constant source -
Pride, despondency, self-pity, -
The list is complete, detailed and accurate
You will find it right away, if you love the truth,

You will look with authority with your inner gaze
The vile essence of your existence
And, like fire, you will burn with shame
For groveling before one's own self

The hardest thing is to overcome
Life storms, temptations, fasting
With inner joy, with strong patience,
This will be the carrying of the Cross.

Tsarskoe

I cross carefully
Every surge of my mind.
All. it would seem wonderful
But in the mind - due to sins - it is winter.

The mind soars not like an eagle, but like a crow,
And he can’t understand
What is a crown of thorns?
You can accept the Kingdom forever.

That only the way of the cross - Golgotha
You can enter the Kingdom forever,
And that's just a disaster
Maybe the Tsar will come to us forever.

You who gave birth to the Son,
The captivity of passions delivered us,
So that, having felt and wandered away,
And having gotten rid of the enemy's networks,

We have seen the True Light
And under Your sovereign power
In the midst of the fierce troubles coming upon us
They served their Russia.